“Be the giraffe in the room”

"Be the giraffe in the room and shine!"

My first day at my dream job was a day of great accomplishment for me.

After years of school, countless exams, and months of interviewing, I was one of the few that made it! I remember entering my work campus and just feeling fulfilled, but throughout my first few weeks, that feeling of fulfilment turned into anxiety.

As I started familiarizing myself with our campus and meeting the different teams, I noticed a common factor in almost every room and meeting space…..I was one of one. I stuck out like a sore thumb everywhere I was, and this became debilitating for me. I felt the pressure of representing an entire race in every interaction I had. “Always smile and stay upbeat”, “Watch your tone in how you respond”, “Are people staring at me?”, “Gosh, I hope she didn’t misunderstand me”

It became exhausting.

I remember never wanting to talk during meetings, because I knew people expected me to, but I was just so scared to come off incompetent. I was the 1 or 3 African- Americans (1 of 1 in my team) on a campus with over 700 employees and the youngest. (People sometimes think this feeling is only attributed to race, but in my experience, it’s the same for age too; ageism is real.)

I spent 3 good years underselling myself because of this self-imposed insecurity I put on myself. As I was exiting the company, our VP asked for a meeting with me and started asking what my experience was like with the company. For some strange reason, I just felt comfortable with her and told her, “I have always felt like the giraffe in this company, like all eyes are on me everywhere I go”. She then leaned in and said,

“Adaku, every time I see you speak, your input is thoughtful and provides impact to the team. A lot of times you are the only one that sees yourself as the giraffe in the room and if you feel that way, be the giraffe in the room and shine!”

That one sentence lived permanently in my heart and mind. I told myself that I cannot control what the room looks like, but I can control how I present myself in these settings.

From that point on, if I have a question, a thought, a comment, I say it (within reason, though, make sure you know what you’re talking about first lol). But that conversation was such a pivotal point in my career, and even now helps me whenever I doubt myself or want to shrink myself, because I am the giraffe in the room.

SN: I think I chose giraffe because I am so tall and naturally stick out in a crowd because of my height lol

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3 Tips To Keep In Mind Whenever You Feel Like You Are The Elephant in the Room

Know your stuff, do the work and make sure you know the ins and outs of your assignment, work stream, project, etc.

• You never want to be the person who speaks up and does not know what your talking about.

If you don’t know, speak up and ask!

• Sometimes asking questions makes you look more competent than others in the room because it shows that you are engaged and trying to find a solution or understand the problem, and provide input.

You represent yourself and yourself only

• This was so key for me, you should never feel like you are carrying a whole race or gender on your back…that is not your job or responsibility.

Adaku